Can a Nigeria pastor go to Egypt and hold a crusade, titled “The Egyptians u see
today u shall see them no more”… #
2. Food has its own Spirit, that’s why I keep advising married women to
always cook their husband’s meal, it’ll
shock u wen the maid takes over! #
3. BlackBerry users don’t give a damn
where they charge their phones. They
will be at a Funeral using the socket
next to the casket to charge.
4. When u buy iPhone 8 for 600k and
you fall down the staircase with the
phone in ur pocket and u hear
_”cracka”_ you be like.
*God let it be my leg*
5. Upcoming artistes with their 1st
track will be shouting “U already know
who it is!!”. How we want take know?
Did we attend same WAEC lesson?
6. World population – 7,187,281,433.
Just in case one idiot starts feeling too
7. I wanted to send sms to my wife
saying “I Love You” & it mistakenly
went to my Landlady & she responded
“I’ve been holding myself for too long, I
love you too & plzzzz stop paying
8. The brain is wonderful. It works
from when u’re born & doesn’t stop
until…u fall in love! Then u become a
9. When a herdsman dies, his son
inherits his cows… but when a
professor dies his certificates
becomes a waste.
-Moral Lesson…use your school fees
to buy cows
No be me talk am ooo… # Lolzzz **
10. : That awkward moment when you
visit your rich uncle in Abuja and the
wife serves you 2
slices of bread, an egg, and a little cup
of tea… And the kids be like ”uncle
can you finish this?”
You be like ”abi iku fe pa yin ni?” Me
wey dey chop 40 slice. # Lmao**
11. Never Trust A Girl With Big
They Store All Their Evil Thoughts
Wisdom will not kill me one day
12. Don’t wear white on someone
else’s wedding, it’s not your time to
shine… Don’t insult me, I’m not feeling
13. If you want to talk to your babe and
you have 2naira on your phone….
Just call her and say this with an
“So you think I would not find out abi?!”
Cut the call.
Balance well.. Cross your legs and wait
her call ￼ ￼ ￼
# IncomingCallSharply ￼
Don’t beat me oooo, I’m just
14.Big boy is not when you manage buy
iPhone7 and behave rude to your
elders. Big boy is when your girlfriend
ask you for money and you give her
your ATM with the password and tell
her to withdraw any amount.
Ladies am I making Sense?
Any girl that thinks I’m making SENSE.
Hmm Electric Pole FALL on U.
15. A friend told me an onion is the
only foodstuffs that can make you cry,
I laughed and threw a coconut at his
face. He’s still crying ooo… I’m so
16. One aboki just called me, I told him
is a wrong number……The aboki
called me back and asked if I have the
correct number… why na??
Life have tire me since then.
17. I wonder what kind of heartbreak a
person is going through, that would
make someone reject hot fufu & Egusi
Food will not kill me one day.
18. As his Fufu and Egusi soup was
almost ready for lunch, a lizard on the
wall fell into the soup in this recession.
He angrily searched through the soup
and found the lizard still alive. He held
it in his hand, raised it up, licked all its
body covered by the well prepared
soup. After he had licked everything,
he threw the lizard away and said,
“Naked you came into my soup, and
naked you shall go, nonsense!” Palz,
guess who this person is…
19. Doctor: I told you to take your drug
by 9am, then why did you take it by
Ade: I wanted to surprise the bacteria.
# OneWord4Him .
20. Onitsha babes are very funny…
You’ll meet them in a taxi, pay fare for
them and buy them Yogurt, then
exchange numbers…and you will
watch them save your name as ‘TAXI