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Jokes to laugh out the sorrows

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Jokes to laugh out the sorrows

Can a Nigeria pastor go to Egypt and hold a crusade, titled “The Egyptians u see
today u shall see them no more”… #
Just_Asking???

2. Food has its own Spirit, that’s why I keep advising married women to
always cook their husband’s meal, it’ll
shock u wen the maid takes over! #
ItWillShockYouReally**

3. BlackBerry users don’t give a damn
where they charge their phones. They
will be at a Funeral using the socket
next to the casket to charge.

4. When u buy iPhone 8 for 600k and
you fall down the staircase with the
phone in ur pocket and u hear
_”cracka”_ you be like.
*God let it be my leg*

5. Upcoming artistes with their 1st
track will be shouting “U already know
who it is!!”. How we want take know?
Did we attend same WAEC lesson?

6. World population – 7,187,281,433.
Just in case one idiot starts feeling too
important.

7. I wanted to send sms to my wife
saying “I Love You” & it mistakenly
went to my Landlady & she responded
“I’ve been holding myself for too long, I
love you too & plzzzz stop paying
rent…”
# Mogbe!

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8. The brain is wonderful. It works
from when u’re born & doesn’t stop
until…u fall in love! Then u become a
classic Mumu!

9. When a herdsman dies, his son
inherits his cows… but when a
professor dies his certificates
becomes a waste.
-Moral Lesson…use your school fees
to buy cows

No be me talk am ooo… # Lolzzz **
10. : That awkward moment when you
visit your rich uncle in Abuja and the
wife serves you 2
slices of bread, an egg, and a little cup
of tea… And the kids be like ”uncle
can you finish this?”
You be like ”abi iku fe pa yin ni?” Me
wey dey chop 40 slice. # Lmao**

11. Never Trust A Girl With Big
Forehead
They Store All Their Evil Thoughts
There
Wisdom will not kill me one day
# Lolzzz**

12. Don’t wear white on someone
else’s wedding, it’s not your time to
shine… Don’t insult me, I’m not feeling
fine.

13. If you want to talk to your babe and
you have 2naira on your phone….
Just call her and say this with an
harsh voice
“So you think I would not find out abi?!”
Cut the call.
Balance well.. Cross your legs and wait
for
her call   
# IncomingCallSharply 
# Lolz
Don’t beat me oooo, I’m just
recovering.

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14.Big boy is not when you manage buy
iPhone7 and behave rude to your
elders. Big boy is when your girlfriend
ask you for money and you give her
your ATM with the password and tell
her to withdraw any amount.
Ladies am I making Sense?
Any girl that thinks I’m making SENSE.
Hmm Electric Pole FALL on U.

15. A friend told me an onion is the
only foodstuffs that can make you cry,
I laughed and threw a coconut at his
face. He’s still crying ooo… I’m so
shocked.

16. One aboki just called me, I told him
is a wrong number……The aboki
called me back and asked if I have the
correct number… why na??
Life have tire me since then.

17. I wonder what kind of heartbreak a
person is going through, that would
make someone reject hot fufu & Egusi
soup.
Food will not kill me one day.

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18. As his Fufu and Egusi soup was
almost ready for lunch, a lizard on the
wall fell into the soup in this recession.
He angrily searched through the soup
and found the lizard still alive. He held
it in his hand, raised it up, licked all its
body covered by the well prepared
soup. After he had licked everything,
he threw the lizard away and said,
“Naked you came into my soup, and
naked you shall go, nonsense!” Palz,
guess who this person is…

19. Doctor: I told you to take your drug
by 9am, then why did you take it by
6am?
Ade: I wanted to surprise the bacteria.
# OneWord4Him .

20. Onitsha babes are very funny…
You’ll meet them in a taxi, pay fare for
them and buy them Yogurt, then
exchange numbers…and you will
watch them save your name as ‘TAXI
YOGURT’.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ofCRNxOV6A]

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Boyfriend chops girlfriend’s head because her food was tasteless

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If you want to read the sad story of a frustrated man who beheaded his girlfriend because the cabbage soup she made was tasteless, stay on this page.

Boyfriend chops girlfriend's head because her food was tasteless

Boyfriend chops girlfriend’s head because her food was tasteless

The anonymous man also tried to take his own life afterwards, but it failed.

Mixed feelings – 😶.

The 43-year-old man  recently lost his job and took to drinking to hopefully suppres the pain.

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Suddenly he became angry when his 47-year-old partner cooked tasteless Shchi (cabbage) soup. He then chopped her head which lead to her death at their home in Kozlovka village, Russia.

Police officers found the body of the dead woman, with her head berated, in Russia, Smolensk region.

The woman’s lover has been detained at the couple’s home and a criminal investigation has been launched according to part 1 article 105 of the Russian criminal code – deliberate murder.

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People lived around said that the man was never that aggressive but after he recently lost his job and started drinking, he went bananas.

Boyfriend chops girlfriend's head because her food was tasteless

Boyfriend chops girlfriend’s head because her food was tasteless

There have been several cases where job loss can make one take the wrong turn in life and do something unimaginable. That’s why laid off workers need a therapist if any unusable behavior is read.

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This is the second case in less than a week in Russia where complaints about bad cooking have resulted in murder.

Linda Ikeji reports that just last week, a woman murdered her husband by stabbing him at least 35 times because he had commented on the food she served their guest.

The husband said that the food she served their guests was lacking salt.

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Local Government Chairman kneeling down after he shouted “APC” during PDP campaign rally

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Francis Ayagah, Local government chairman of Gwer west local government area in Benue state kneeling down as instructed after he chanted “APC” during a PDP campaign rally.

Local Government Chairman kneeling down after he shouted "APC" during PDP campaign rally

Local Government Chairman kneeling down after he shouted “APC” during PDP campaign rally

Don’t put all the blame on Francis Ayagah. He was elected as LG Chairman under the sweeps of APC, but he defected to the umbrella of PDP after power changed hands in Benue state.

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Eunice Ortom, wife of Samuel Ortom, Benue state Governor organized a rally to campaign for the re-election of her husband as Gorvenor. Eunice Ortom hails from the local government which Francis Ayagah leads.

Francis Ayagah was called up to the podium to make a speech. Unfortunately for him, he lost track of the political party’s platform he is on.

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Report has it that he shouted “Aaaaa Peee Ceeee” twice to a crowd of PDP supporters who couldn’t hold back the disgrace.

Subsequently he was summoned by the leaders of PDP in Benue state and was seen kneeling down.

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Power Outage hit Murtala Mohammed Airport for five hours – Read what passengers did

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It came as a shock as Murtala Mohammed Airport in Ikeja Lagos State went into stone age for five hours. The airport experienced power outage which forced the terminal to switch to manual for continuity.

Power Outage hit Lagos Airport for five hours - Read what passengers did

Power Outage hit Lagos Airport for five hours – Read what passengers did

The General Manager, Corporate Communications, FAAN, Henrietta Yakubu, said that the power failure was due to a “minor electrical fault”.

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Sahara Reporters reported that sources close to the terminal reveal that some of the passengers had to pull off their shirt especially the males and use hand fans.

Phew.

Yakubu further stated that FAA  engineers were already working to rectify the “minor electrical fault”, assuring the public that normalcy would be restored soon.

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Yakubu added by saying that the outage did not affect normal flight operations at the airport and flight operations continued uninterrupted.

Well, the terminal crew switched to manual.

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