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Jokes to laugh out the sorrows

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Jokes to laugh out the sorrows

Can a Nigeria pastor go to Egypt and hold a crusade, titled “The Egyptians u see
today u shall see them no more”… #
Just_Asking???

2. Food has its own Spirit, that’s why I keep advising married women to
always cook their husband’s meal, it’ll
shock u wen the maid takes over! #
ItWillShockYouReally**

3. BlackBerry users don’t give a damn
where they charge their phones. They
will be at a Funeral using the socket
next to the casket to charge.

4. When u buy iPhone 8 for 600k and
you fall down the staircase with the
phone in ur pocket and u hear
_”cracka”_ you be like.
*God let it be my leg*

5. Upcoming artistes with their 1st
track will be shouting “U already know
who it is!!”. How we want take know?
Did we attend same WAEC lesson?

6. World population – 7,187,281,433.
Just in case one idiot starts feeling too
important.

7. I wanted to send sms to my wife
saying “I Love You” & it mistakenly
went to my Landlady & she responded
“I’ve been holding myself for too long, I
love you too & plzzzz stop paying
rent…”
# Mogbe!

8. The brain is wonderful. It works
from when u’re born & doesn’t stop
until…u fall in love! Then u become a
classic Mumu!

9. When a herdsman dies, his son
inherits his cows… but when a
professor dies his certificates
becomes a waste.
-Moral Lesson…use your school fees
to buy cows

No be me talk am ooo… # Lolzzz **
10. : That awkward moment when you
visit your rich uncle in Abuja and the
wife serves you 2
slices of bread, an egg, and a little cup
of tea… And the kids be like ”uncle
can you finish this?”
You be like ”abi iku fe pa yin ni?” Me
wey dey chop 40 slice. # Lmao**

11. Never Trust A Girl With Big
Forehead
They Store All Their Evil Thoughts
There
Wisdom will not kill me one day
# Lolzzz**

12. Don’t wear white on someone
else’s wedding, it’s not your time to
shine… Don’t insult me, I’m not feeling
fine.

13. If you want to talk to your babe and
you have 2naira on your phone….
Just call her and say this with an
harsh voice
“So you think I would not find out abi?!”
Cut the call.
Balance well.. Cross your legs and wait
for
her call   
# IncomingCallSharply 
# Lolz
Don’t beat me oooo, I’m just
recovering.

14.Big boy is not when you manage buy
iPhone7 and behave rude to your
elders. Big boy is when your girlfriend
ask you for money and you give her
your ATM with the password and tell
her to withdraw any amount.
Ladies am I making Sense?
Any girl that thinks I’m making SENSE.
Hmm Electric Pole FALL on U.

15. A friend told me an onion is the
only foodstuffs that can make you cry,
I laughed and threw a coconut at his
face. He’s still crying ooo… I’m so
shocked.

16. One aboki just called me, I told him
is a wrong number……The aboki
called me back and asked if I have the
correct number… why na??
Life have tire me since then.

17. I wonder what kind of heartbreak a
person is going through, that would
make someone reject hot fufu & Egusi
soup.
Food will not kill me one day.

18. As his Fufu and Egusi soup was
almost ready for lunch, a lizard on the
wall fell into the soup in this recession.
He angrily searched through the soup
and found the lizard still alive. He held
it in his hand, raised it up, licked all its
body covered by the well prepared
soup. After he had licked everything,
he threw the lizard away and said,
“Naked you came into my soup, and
naked you shall go, nonsense!” Palz,
guess who this person is…

19. Doctor: I told you to take your drug
by 9am, then why did you take it by
6am?
Ade: I wanted to surprise the bacteria.
# OneWord4Him .

20. Onitsha babes are very funny…
You’ll meet them in a taxi, pay fare for
them and buy them Yogurt, then
exchange numbers…and you will
watch them save your name as ‘TAXI
YOGURT’.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ofCRNxOV6A]

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Employment seeking girl steals N108k from her prospective employer

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Opportunity comes but once, this young girl believes as she stole N108k from her prospective employer. A female jobseeker has been captured for taking One Hundred and Eight Thousand Naira amid her prospective employee meeting in Delta State.

It was accumulated that the businessperson at the organization had ventured out to get something, leaving the suspect in the workplace. The young lady professedly utilized the chance to take N108k and fled.

Good fortune, be that as it may, ran out on her, days after the fact, while going through the road where the workplace is found. She was expeditiously caught and dragged to her home where the rest of the cash was recovered.

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Lagos tenant uses Landlord’s apartment to dupe house appliance vendors of N50 million

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Read this narration by twitter handle, @Wenogetjob, which tells of how he eavesdropped on a couples conversation of a duping man. The man rented a house for 2 month, bought expensive items worth up to N50 million on credit. Left the rented apartment with all the appliances he has not paid for, after winning the trust of the sellers.

Hey peepz, I have a gist tho I don’t know if it’s true or not..But I will say it Sha. I was just walking on the street 2receive fresh air when I saw a couple. d man was telling his wife about an incident. I kukuma slowed down an walked behind them to hear d full gist.

It was more like a scam story. A certain man walked up to a Landlord in our area and requested to rent his apartment for 2 months, with the excuse that he was traveling to Canada and just came to Lagos for the Visa Processing.. They agreed on 150K.

The man paid and took ownership of the apartment.He then went out to Vendors in town and negotiated to buy expensive items on lease. With installment payment plans.. He was said to have collected home appliance worth N50,000,000 from various vendors.

He then took them all to the apartment one by one to build trust. At least once they know he lives there, they can easily come around and pack their stuffs if he defaults, these people didn’t know what would hit them was going to be deadlier than Tsunami.

As agreed with the Landlord, the man packed out even earlier than expected… Left with all the items, of which he had not finished the payment..and the Landlord was so happy to have struck a better deal He immediately rented out the apartment to another family.

One by one, the creditors began to come in and same story was relieved to them.. Some fainted, some threatened hell fire …. To cut the long story short, Baba Ijebu was arrested alongside the new tenant.. You know Naija now… #POLICE  no wan hear wuen

They were only saved after a Landlord intervened. He is a legal practitioner and took up the case. But sincerely speaking. I wonder how some people feel at rest knowing fully well their victims would suffer.  I guess it all centers on lack of conscience. This is bad #dojon

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js Read Also: UPDATE!!! Offa Bank robbers caught by the phones they gave their girlfriends

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How a middle-aged man died after withdrawing N100,200 from the bank will shock you

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How a middle-aged man died after withdrawing N100,200 from the bank will shock you

What could have taken the life of a middle-aged man, identified only as Muyibi, who collapsed and died in a commercial cab in the Ojota area of Lagos State.

PUNCH Metro reports that Muyibi boarded the cab after withdrawing money from a United Bank for Africa branch in the Ogudu area. Then the driver had turned to to take his fee from Muyibi when he realized the man had become motionless. After reaching the terminus, a resident told Punch’s correspondent that the driver alighted from the cab to slightly push Muyibi, who was cold.

The resident, who did not want to be identified, said,

“The driver had picked some other passengers along the way, and they had all paid and dropped off at their various bus stops.
“When the victim did not respond when they got to the terminus, the driver parked the cab to rouse him, but he was cold.
The driver raised the alarm, which drew the attention of commuters and passersby to the scene. People checked him and discovered that the man was dead.”

Policemen from the Ogudu division were said to have been alerted to the incident. The driver’s vehicle was impounded just like that, while the man’s body was deposited in a morgue.

A source person at the terminus who spoke with Punch newspaper confirmed the incident, saying:

“It happened around 3pm on Friday. The man went to withdraw some money in UBA. The Ogudu Divisional Police Officer was compassionate; she pitied the cab driver, who had become jittery.
Although the man was not detained, his cab was impounded at the station pending when the deceased’s family would show up,” he added.

Lagos state Police Public Relations Officer, SP Chike Oti, said the police recovered N100,200 from the victim’s bag.

He said:

“The man was on his way to Ojota when he collapsed and died. We recovered the sum of N100,200 from his bag.
He also had a phone, which had a new SIM card. There is no contact on the phone and nobody has called him. We have a lead as to where he could be living.
His body has been deposited in a morgue for autopsy.”

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