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TYPES OF SLAPS

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TYPES OF SLAPS

1. TAKE AWAY SLAP: When someone gives
you a dirty slap, and all you can do is hold
your face and walk away.. That is take away
slap.
2. RESOUNDING SLAP: That is when after you
are hit. You keep on hearing some funny
sounds in your brain like wiiiiiiiiiii! and
voices in your head singing Christmas Carol.
3. FORMATTING SLAP: That is the slap that
makes someone forget instantly what he or
she was doing.. You find yourself asking
questions like “what did I do?”
4. EXPLANATION SLAP: When someone gives
you this kind of slap, you find yourself
explaining the situation to the nearest
person out of your own accord..e.g.. Bros,
shey you been dey watch? I been no do
anything o.
5. FIXED DEPOSIT SLAP: When you receive this
kind of slap all you will do is just stand right
where you are and watch the person walk
away.
6. RHETORICAL SLAP: The moment you
download the slap, you start asking
questions that don’t need reply.. like EMILY,
you slapped me?
7. SWEET SLAP: This is the type of slap that
when a girl downloads it sweetly on your
cheek whether is painful or not, you start
blushing.
8. MATHEMATICAL SLAP: This simply has to do
with the physical reconstruction of your face
when given to you. The length of your face
will be raised to power two, your eye
sockets will calculate its circumference.
9. CHERUBIM AND SERAPHIM SLAP: When you
receive this slap (it proves effective when it’s
given to you all of a sudden). You will be
able to speak Spanish, Greek, Arabic, Hindu,
all together.
10. COLOUR RIOT AND BIRDING SLAP: You will
start seeing different colors and your head
will turn to nest whilst birds will be flying all
around you.
WHICH OF THEM HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED OR
WITNESSED???

Read Also: Police shoots 18-year-old girl and her friend over N1000

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KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

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Shocking news of a graduate of Ken Saro-Wiwa Polytechnic (Kenpoly), Charles Orji who killed himself over a breakup with his girlfriend broke the internet last week.

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

The sad news was shared by a Twitter user who wrote,

“A Graduate From The Department Of Estate Management KenPoly Named Charles Orji Has Reportedly Committed Suicide This Morning After his girlfriend dumped him!!! Na wao!”.

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

Ken Saro-Wiwa polytechnic officials reported that Charles took in “sniper”, a strong insecticide, as a means to end his life.

According to reports by close persons, Charles was hurriedly buried in his hometown due to the unfortunate nature of his death.

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

As of last week, the reason behind the break-up wasn’t not know until Charles’s family member revealed the unknown. Charles cheated on his girlfriend and killed himself because his girlfriend refused to continue with the relationship.

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

The family member wrote,
“Charles I’m mad at you for what you’ve done and what you put my sister and our family through, we all loved you for who you were to her and to us. This isn’t the first time you’ve tried to kill yourself for a girl you love, but why make rejoice take the blame for your suicide this time around?

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

“You weren’t faithful to her but you claimed to love her, you confessed to sleeping with her close friend and even other girls, you weren’t faithful but she forgave you, even though she decided not to put up with your unfaithfulness anymore. You made such a rash decision drinking 3 bottles of sniper just because of the text she sent to you, didn’t even wait to talk to her, when you were rushed to the hospital, she had to send 20k to your people for hospital bills, money she doesn’t even have… before you died you told people that she is to be blamed for your death, now on social media people are cussing her out because of you, your family is threatening her, she’s not safe anymore.

charley, you’ve brought her pain, and no one is even giving her a listening ear… you don’t do that to someone you love… I’ve said enough, let me not say anymore.

“Rest In Peace”.

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Lady who videoed Success, cries out for her own share of money

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We’ve waited a very long time for this. A time when the lady who videoed Success will ask for her own share of the cake.

Recall the viral video of a school girl, Success Adegor who was chased home for not paying her school fees.

Success got several monetary donations from Nigerians and the Delta State government. Some promised to look into her school’s improverished state and fund her education to tertiary level.

Lady who videoed Success, cries out for her own share of money

Well, the director of that video,a lady identified as Stephanie Idolor has cried out for her own piece of cake. Obviously, nothing has gotten to her yet as she wrote a piece on Instagram which reads.

“It’s not like I want to share any percentage of the money they have made with them, they are my neighbours, but If Success and Her Family Have Made Over N5Million I deserve at least N1Million”.

Well, to me, I think Stephanie Idolor deserves more than one million naira. She carried out pure Journalism.

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