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Read this jokes to spice up your day

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My boss thinks am a fool, he sent me for 2kg of sugar but i only found 1kg so i never bought, I came to tell him that they only have 1kg. Very pissed he asked me why i never used my brain n bought two of 1kg to make 2kg.
So today he sent me for slippers size 6 but only found size 3, so this time i used my brain and bought 2pairs of size 3 to make 6 and took to him. He has told me to wait outside, i can see him typing i guess its a promotion letter.
Too much Sense is killing me

Read this jokes to spice up your day

To my single Igbo sisters
In a few days time, your parents will be bundling you to the village in order to attract suitors( ndi sii abroad).
Dear sisters, in order for this trip to be productive and not repeated next year or during Easter, I will be giving you some free tips.
When you arrive village, ensure you do the following:
1. Greet people especially the old mothers and fathers- Nothing gives them joy like a township girl that greets. You will start hearing things like ( dis girl nwere obi ume ala) and the recommendations will start.
2. Make sure you keep going to watch football matches in the field every evening. Ndi abroad come by that time to scout for potential wives.
3. If you are a Catholic, don’t forget your finger rosary or Chaplet. That is the trademark of a well brought up Christian and humble wife material.
4. Target those babes that have marryable elder brothers and befriend them. When recommendations starts, you will be amongst the 1st 3.
5. Finally, when you go to church, make sure you bend down and dance, dance very well, shake your waist while going to drop your offering , the mothers are watching and assessing. The fact that they saw you dancing very well is an added advantage.
Sisters, apply all these and you shall be selling aso- ebi by February 2018.
If I don’t take care of my sisters, who will?….Thank me Later shaa

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Truck carrying APC Branded Rice Rams Into a Market – See what the youths did

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Bewails follow after a truck carrying APC branded rice rammed into a market in Iworoko, Ekiti state killing many including a mother and her child, a youth corp member and few Ekiti State university students.

Youths angered, destroyed the rice carried by the truck. The Truck was carrying rice with APC logo and on its sack, it is believed to be the campaign material belonging to a senatorial candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC) in Ondo State.

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Unlucky man Beaten black and blue for stealing ladies panties

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An unlucky pant thief, ifeanyi, was apprehended stealing pant at a student residential quarters at Mgbakwu, Awka north Local Government Area of Anambra State on Wednesday.

Beaten blue and black for stealing ladies panties

Beaten blue and black for stealing ladies panties

He broke into the the apartment and went straight to the rope where washed female panties hung. Quickly he ceased the pants but ran out of luck when an occupant came out to urinate and raised alarm.

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He was immediately surrounded by a vicious mob who nearly beat life out of him, instead they left him gasping for air.

With the remaining life in him, he confessed to how he has stolen up 58 pants and sold them for N500 each.

Ifeanyi had to confess that he has been in the business for a long while after he dropped out of school at SS2 level following a mental illness.

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According to the news source, the mob let ifeanyi go after much berating because he claimed it was the work of the devil and promises to change. Ifeanyi advised other female panties theif to abstain from such cruel acts.

Don’t it blame all on ifeanyi, blame  those buying panties worn by females of age between 14 – 30 for N400,000.  The police were completely oblivious of the incident and promises to make public a report once they do.

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How to Register for 2019 JAMB UTME Examination without hassle

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Joint Admission and Matriculation Board Examination (JAMB) 2019 UTME examination has been fixed to hold on 16 March, 2019 at JAMB accredited centers only. JAMB has pre-warned candidates to avoid registering at cyber cafes to avoid stories that touches the heart.

The registration of the JAMB UTME for 2019 began today being 10th January as announced by the board. We coupled down the quick steps on how to register for 2019 JAMB examinations and we encourage you to follow them strictly.

Easy Steps on How to Register for 2019 JAMB UTME Examination

Easy Steps on How to Register for 2019 JAMB UTME Examination

You need your personal e-mail address and mobile phone number. Head over to JAMB website to create your JAMB profile. Pay for you JAMB ePIN via online or bank. Visit any accredited CBT centers with your personal details (O’ Level certificate), the profile and evidence of payment.
The CBT centers or JAMB State Office, supplies, at no extra cost, the prescribed reading text and the CD containing:
a) e-brochure showing guidelines on admission detailing list of tertiary institutions and available programmes of study.
b) Syllabus (e-syllabus) for the examination.
c) Step by step guide on completion of the application form.
d) A video messages from the Registrar of JAMB and a demo on how to use eight (8) keys for UTME examination without mouse. (For candidates with little familiarity with Computers).
vii. Each Candidate is to complete the online application form by supplying the required details such as name, e-mail address, L.G.A., academic qualification, etc.
viii. At the CBT centers, Candidate’s ten fingers biometric and image will be captured and uploaded.
ix. O/L and/or A/L grades are to be provided by candidates. Candidates who are awaiting result should supply the result online as soon as the results are available on JAMB’s portal.
x. Each Candidate is to collect his e-slip at the end of registration as evidence of registration.

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