1.What is witchcraft?
Witchcraft is when your father sell his only portion of land and send you abroad to study Medicine and you come back after 7 years as a DJ
2.ur boyfriend’s friends know that you are not the main chick of your boyfriend and yet
they call you “Our wife” May something as heavy as Rick Ross sit on their destinies
Are we together?
3.I heard dat Ghosts chased the
Brazilian President out of
the Presidential villa.Nigeria
Ghosts una don see wetin una mates dey do? If it is to
marry a Human being and
become their spiritual Husband
or Wife, na there una go
carry First. ..
4.That moment that you are staring at an ugly girl.she will
‘ this boy is falling in love with
not knowing that you are just
trying to figure out which
animal she resemble. 5.teacher,who betrayed Jesus
christ in the bible
IBNL JUDAS IS CARROT.
6.observed this lately Many
Nigerians will go 2 Russia
For the 2018 WorldCup Not to support Nigeria but to
For d founder of MMM.
7.When You are starving and
You Hear “Jellof Rice will
Soon Finish oo” But the Yeye Photographer will still Be
saying ” Oya Smile This Is the
Last One” ‘Say Cheese’
8.I wanted to go for jogging
this morning but
proverb 28:1 says the wicked run’s when no
man is chasing them So I
9.Ghosts in Nollywood fear cars
when crossing the road
because they don’t want to die again
If you advise me to stay in
10.FRANCA So Bcus The Doctor
Asked You To Change Ur
Drinking Habit, U Now Drink Beer With Spoon.
You will nor kill me o
M trying to hold ma faint
11.A friend of mine asked me
if I’m willing to go to
London… See question!! Who wnt to sty here.
14.My mother-in-law visited me
and my wife
but coincidentally,that day my
feeling horny and she did not want to whisper to me
since i was busy sharing stories
with her mother. My wife
tricked me by pretending she
has headache and went
straight to the bedroom. After some minutes, I followed
her leaving her mother in the
sitting room.I took some
time there,but wen I came
I had forgotten to close my zip. Mother-in-law How is she
Me: She is now feeling better, I
have given her
mother inlaw ok close the pharmcy its open.
15.A man fainted in my domain
for reason best known to
him and he’s yet to rise, reason
being that he violated law
of fainting which says in section 14 (thus, Thou shall not
faint without asking for
Fainting Space), In subsection
it also says Thou shall not faint
without asking your neighbour to shift for you
before fainting. But that’s story
for another day
16.Dating a slim girll is good
and nice but don’t be
surprise wen she get pregnant because
she will look like spoiled Nokia
battery dat have swell up.
17.Girls have three type of
..Normal panties, Period/ menses panties and
“he is coming panties” .
18.Ladies are some how
wicked ooh Girls that are
people’s boifriend, ARE THEY NOT
19.Me:hi,hw r u
OBONG: am fine….
Me:where r u?
OBONG: uniport… Me: what r u studying..
OBONG: banking and
Me: financial chemistry and my
sis (LOHITA) is studying
political carpentry..I tire for 9ja slay queens oooo’
20.GRACE : Baby are u still
coming ?. (11:00)
GRACE : Give me 20 minutes.
ME : ok, i’ll be waiting. (15:15) GRACE : just be patient. (16:00)
ME:Where are you now ?.
GRACE : Give me 30 minutes.
ME : Are you still coming ?. (18:00)
GRACE : I can’t make it, it’s late.
Some ladies are Evil
20.Not every girl who is single
looks terrible. Its just that some of them are drinking too
21.I thought being a South
African was stressful till I met
an Arab guy called; Saq Madik.
How will he mention his name during job interviews?
Madam: Your full names
Guy: Saq Mahdik
Madam: Suck what???
Guy: Mahdik…… 22.Evrythng on a woman’s
upper body starts wth B:
Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs.
& lower body wth P:
Petticoat, panties, pussy.
Dont panic bro Thats “BP” 4 u. 23.Mango : I am a yellow bone
when ripen, used for
making atchaar when raw, and
i look like a human
Grapes: i am looking like a human eye, and i am a wine
Banana : please guys, let’s drop
25.Mosquitoes of nowadays
have no respect again.They will cum to ur ears nd be
singing: “Iffa tell u say i luv u
ooo.ur body,ur blood na my
own oo baby.30Litres for ur
tummy oo,malaria nd suckness
for ur body o baby”. A smart guy like me will quickly
compose my own track
Ar u don talking?
Ar u don talking?
Mosquito are u done talking?
Sniper fall on u Otapiapia fall on u
coil fall on u cuz i go kill u eeh
BONUS I told a lady my dad is a
FARMER,he has a
plantain plantation And she
also told me her uncle is a farmer,he has a cassava
cassavation,yam yamation and
maize maization I’m still
looking at her face since
yesterday, What should I tell
Boyfriend chops girlfriend’s head because her food was tasteless
If you want to read the sad story of a frustrated man who beheaded his girlfriend because the cabbage soup she made was tasteless, stay on this page.
The anonymous man also tried to take his own life afterwards, but it failed.
Mixed feelings – 😶.
The 43-year-old man recently lost his job and took to drinking to hopefully suppres the pain.
Suddenly he became angry when his 47-year-old partner cooked tasteless Shchi (cabbage) soup. He then chopped her head which lead to her death at their home in Kozlovka village, Russia.
Police officers found the body of the dead woman, with her head berated, in Russia, Smolensk region.
The woman’s lover has been detained at the couple’s home and a criminal investigation has been launched according to part 1 article 105 of the Russian criminal code – deliberate murder.
People lived around said that the man was never that aggressive but after he recently lost his job and started drinking, he went bananas.
There have been several cases where job loss can make one take the wrong turn in life and do something unimaginable. That’s why laid off workers need a therapist if any unusable behavior is read.
This is the second case in less than a week in Russia where complaints about bad cooking have resulted in murder.
Linda Ikeji reports that just last week, a woman murdered her husband by stabbing him at least 35 times because he had commented on the food she served their guest.
The husband said that the food she served their guests was lacking salt.
Local Government Chairman kneeling down after he shouted “APC” during PDP campaign rally
Francis Ayagah, Local government chairman of Gwer west local government area in Benue state kneeling down as instructed after he chanted “APC” during a PDP campaign rally.
Don’t put all the blame on Francis Ayagah. He was elected as LG Chairman under the sweeps of APC, but he defected to the umbrella of PDP after power changed hands in Benue state.
Eunice Ortom, wife of Samuel Ortom, Benue state Governor organized a rally to campaign for the re-election of her husband as Gorvenor. Eunice Ortom hails from the local government which Francis Ayagah leads.
Francis Ayagah was called up to the podium to make a speech. Unfortunately for him, he lost track of the political party’s platform he is on.
Report has it that he shouted “Aaaaa Peee Ceeee” twice to a crowd of PDP supporters who couldn’t hold back the disgrace.
Subsequently he was summoned by the leaders of PDP in Benue state and was seen kneeling down.
Power Outage hit Murtala Mohammed Airport for five hours – Read what passengers did
It came as a shock as Murtala Mohammed Airport in Ikeja Lagos State went into stone age for five hours. The airport experienced power outage which forced the terminal to switch to manual for continuity.
The General Manager, Corporate Communications, FAAN, Henrietta Yakubu, said that the power failure was due to a “minor electrical fault”.
Sahara Reporters reported that sources close to the terminal reveal that some of the passengers had to pull off their shirt especially the males and use hand fans.
Yakubu further stated that FAA engineers were already working to rectify the “minor electrical fault”, assuring the public that normalcy would be restored soon.
Yakubu added by saying that the outage did not affect normal flight operations at the airport and flight operations continued uninterrupted.
Well, the terminal crew switched to manual.
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