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Jokes to brighten up your day

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1.What is witchcraft?

Witchcraft is when your father sell his only portion of land and send you abroad to study Medicine and you come back after 7 years as a DJ

2.ur boyfriend’s friends know that you are not the main chick of your boyfriend and yet

they call you “Our wife” May something as heavy as Rick Ross sit on their destinies

Are we together?

3.I heard dat Ghosts chased the

Brazilian President out of

the Presidential villa.Nigeria

Ghosts una don see wetin una mates dey do? If it is to

marry a Human being and

become their spiritual Husband

or Wife, na there una go

carry First. ..

4.That moment that you are staring at an ugly girl.she will

‘ this boy is falling in love with

me’

not knowing that you are just

trying to figure out which

animal she resemble. 5.teacher,who betrayed Jesus

christ in the bible

IBNL JUDAS IS CARROT.

6.observed this lately Many

Nigerians will go 2 Russia

For the 2018 WorldCup Not to support Nigeria but to

look

For d founder of MMM.

7.When You are starving and

You Hear “Jellof Rice will

Soon Finish oo” But the Yeye Photographer will still Be

saying ” Oya Smile This Is the

Last One” ‘Say Cheese’

8.I wanted to go for jogging

this morning but

proverb 28:1 says the wicked run’s when no

man is chasing them So I

stopped

9.Ghosts in Nollywood fear cars

when crossing the road

because they don’t want to die again

If you advise me to stay in

Nigeria ehn!

10.FRANCA So Bcus The Doctor

Asked You To Change Ur

Drinking Habit, U Now Drink Beer With Spoon.

You will nor kill me o

M trying to hold ma faint

11.A friend of mine asked me

if I’m willing to go to

London… See question!! Who wnt to sty here.

14.My mother-in-law visited me

and my wife

but coincidentally,that day my

wife was

feeling horny and she did not want to whisper to me

since i was busy sharing stories

with her mother. My wife

tricked me by pretending she

has headache and went

straight to the bedroom. After some minutes, I followed

her leaving her mother in the

sitting room.I took some

time there,but wen I came

back

I had forgotten to close my zip. Mother-in-law How is she

feeling now?

Me: She is now feeling better, I

have given her

paracitamol

mother inlaw ok close the pharmcy its open.

15.A man fainted in my domain

for reason best known to

him and he’s yet to rise, reason

being that he violated law

of fainting which says in section 14 (thus, Thou shall not

faint without asking for

Fainting Space), In subsection

13,

it also says Thou shall not faint

without asking your neighbour to shift for you

before fainting. But that’s story

for another day

16.Dating a slim girll is good

and nice but don’t be

surprise wen she get pregnant because

she will look like spoiled Nokia

battery dat have swell up.

17.Girls have three type of

panties.

..Normal panties, Period/ menses panties and

“he is coming panties” .

18.Ladies are some how

wicked ooh Girls that are

snatching other

people’s boifriend, ARE THEY NOT

SEEING ME???

19.Me:hi,hw r u

OBONG: am fine….

Me:where r u?

OBONG: uniport… Me: what r u studying..

OBONG: banking and

surgery,,,,u??

Me: financial chemistry and my

sis (LOHITA) is studying

political carpentry..I tire for 9ja slay queens oooo’

20.GRACE : Baby are u still

coming ?. (11:00)

GRACE : Give me 20 minutes.

(13:15)

ME : ok, i’ll be waiting. (15:15) GRACE : just be patient. (16:00)

ME:Where are you now ?.

(16:30)

GRACE : Give me 30 minutes.

(17:20)

ME : Are you still coming ?. (18:00)

GRACE : I can’t make it, it’s late.

(19:00)

Some ladies are Evil

20.Not every girl who is single

looks terrible. Its just that some of them are drinking too

much.

21.I thought being a South

African was stressful till I met

an Arab guy called; Saq Madik.

How will he mention his name during job interviews?​​​​

Madam: Your full names

please?

Guy: Saq Mahdik

Madam: Suck what???

Guy: Mahdik…… 22.Evrythng on a woman’s

upper body starts wth B:

Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs.

& lower body wth P:

Petticoat, panties, pussy.

Dont panic bro Thats “BP” 4 u. 23.Mango : I am a yellow bone

when ripen, used for

making atchaar when raw, and

i look like a human

kidney.

Grapes: i am looking like a human eye, and i am a wine

raw material.

Banana : please guys, let’s drop

this topic.

25.Mosquitoes of nowadays

have no respect again.They will cum to ur ears nd be

singing: “Iffa tell u say i luv u

ooo.ur body,ur blood na my

own oo baby.30Litres for ur

tummy oo,malaria nd suckness

for ur body o baby”. A smart guy like me will quickly

compose my own track

Ar u don talking?

Ar u don talking?

Mosquito are u done talking?

Sniper fall on u Otapiapia fall on u

coil fall on u cuz i go kill u eeh

BONUS I told a lady my dad is a

FARMER,he has a

plantain plantation And she

also told me her uncle is a farmer,he has a cassava

cassavation,yam yamation and

maize maization I’m still

looking at her face since

yesterday, What should I tell

her?

News

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

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Shocking news of a graduate of Ken Saro-Wiwa Polytechnic (Kenpoly), Charles Orji who killed himself over a breakup with his girlfriend broke the internet last week.

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

The sad news was shared by a Twitter user who wrote,

“A Graduate From The Department Of Estate Management KenPoly Named Charles Orji Has Reportedly Committed Suicide This Morning After his girlfriend dumped him!!! Na wao!”.

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

Ken Saro-Wiwa polytechnic officials reported that Charles took in “sniper”, a strong insecticide, as a means to end his life.

According to reports by close persons, Charles was hurriedly buried in his hometown due to the unfortunate nature of his death.

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

As of last week, the reason behind the break-up wasn’t not know until Charles’s family member revealed the unknown. Charles cheated on his girlfriend and killed himself because his girlfriend refused to continue with the relationship.

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

The family member wrote,
“Charles I’m mad at you for what you’ve done and what you put my sister and our family through, we all loved you for who you were to her and to us. This isn’t the first time you’ve tried to kill yourself for a girl you love, but why make rejoice take the blame for your suicide this time around?

KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend

“You weren’t faithful to her but you claimed to love her, you confessed to sleeping with her close friend and even other girls, you weren’t faithful but she forgave you, even though she decided not to put up with your unfaithfulness anymore. You made such a rash decision drinking 3 bottles of sniper just because of the text she sent to you, didn’t even wait to talk to her, when you were rushed to the hospital, she had to send 20k to your people for hospital bills, money she doesn’t even have… before you died you told people that she is to be blamed for your death, now on social media people are cussing her out because of you, your family is threatening her, she’s not safe anymore.

charley, you’ve brought her pain, and no one is even giving her a listening ear… you don’t do that to someone you love… I’ve said enough, let me not say anymore.

“Rest In Peace”.

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News

Lady who videoed Success, cries out for her own share of money

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We’ve waited a very long time for this. A time when the lady who videoed Success will ask for her own share of the cake.

Recall the viral video of a school girl, Success Adegor who was chased home for not paying her school fees.

Success got several monetary donations from Nigerians and the Delta State government. Some promised to look into her school’s improverished state and fund her education to tertiary level.

Lady who videoed Success, cries out for her own share of money

Well, the director of that video,a lady identified as Stephanie Idolor has cried out for her own piece of cake. Obviously, nothing has gotten to her yet as she wrote a piece on Instagram which reads.

“It’s not like I want to share any percentage of the money they have made with them, they are my neighbours, but If Success and Her Family Have Made Over N5Million I deserve at least N1Million”.

Well, to me, I think Stephanie Idolor deserves more than one million naira. She carried out pure Journalism.

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