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Jokes to brighten up your day



1.What is witchcraft?

Witchcraft is when your father sell his only portion of land and send you abroad to study Medicine and you come back after 7 years as a DJ

2.ur boyfriend’s friends know that you are not the main chick of your boyfriend and yet

they call you “Our wife” May something as heavy as Rick Ross sit on their destinies

Are we together?

3.I heard dat Ghosts chased the

Brazilian President out of

the Presidential villa.Nigeria

Ghosts una don see wetin una mates dey do? If it is to

marry a Human being and

become their spiritual Husband

or Wife, na there una go

carry First. ..

4.That moment that you are staring at an ugly girl.she will

‘ this boy is falling in love with


not knowing that you are just

trying to figure out which

animal she resemble. 5.teacher,who betrayed Jesus

christ in the bible


6.observed this lately Many

Nigerians will go 2 Russia

For the 2018 WorldCup Not to support Nigeria but to


For d founder of MMM.

7.When You are starving and

You Hear “Jellof Rice will

Soon Finish oo” But the Yeye Photographer will still Be

saying ” Oya Smile This Is the

Last One” ‘Say Cheese’

8.I wanted to go for jogging

this morning but

proverb 28:1 says the wicked run’s when no

man is chasing them So I


9.Ghosts in Nollywood fear cars

when crossing the road

because they don’t want to die again

If you advise me to stay in

Nigeria ehn!

10.FRANCA So Bcus The Doctor

Asked You To Change Ur

Drinking Habit, U Now Drink Beer With Spoon.

You will nor kill me o

M trying to hold ma faint

11.A friend of mine asked me

if I’m willing to go to

London… See question!! Who wnt to sty here.

14.My mother-in-law visited me

and my wife

but coincidentally,that day my

wife was

feeling horny and she did not want to whisper to me

since i was busy sharing stories

with her mother. My wife

tricked me by pretending she

has headache and went

straight to the bedroom. After some minutes, I followed

her leaving her mother in the

sitting room.I took some

time there,but wen I came


I had forgotten to close my zip. Mother-in-law How is she

feeling now?

Me: She is now feeling better, I

have given her


mother inlaw ok close the pharmcy its open.

15.A man fainted in my domain

for reason best known to

him and he’s yet to rise, reason

being that he violated law

of fainting which says in section 14 (thus, Thou shall not

faint without asking for

Fainting Space), In subsection


it also says Thou shall not faint

without asking your neighbour to shift for you

before fainting. But that’s story

for another day

16.Dating a slim girll is good

and nice but don’t be

surprise wen she get pregnant because

she will look like spoiled Nokia

battery dat have swell up.

17.Girls have three type of


..Normal panties, Period/ menses panties and

“he is coming panties” .

18.Ladies are some how

wicked ooh Girls that are

snatching other

people’s boifriend, ARE THEY NOT


19.Me:hi,hw r u

OBONG: am fine….

Me:where r u?

OBONG: uniport… Me: what r u studying..

OBONG: banking and


Me: financial chemistry and my

sis (LOHITA) is studying

political carpentry..I tire for 9ja slay queens oooo’

20.GRACE : Baby are u still

coming ?. (11:00)

GRACE : Give me 20 minutes.


ME : ok, i’ll be waiting. (15:15) GRACE : just be patient. (16:00)

ME:Where are you now ?.


GRACE : Give me 30 minutes.


ME : Are you still coming ?. (18:00)

GRACE : I can’t make it, it’s late.


Some ladies are Evil

20.Not every girl who is single

looks terrible. Its just that some of them are drinking too


21.I thought being a South

African was stressful till I met

an Arab guy called; Saq Madik.

How will he mention his name during job interviews?​​​​

Madam: Your full names


Guy: Saq Mahdik

Madam: Suck what???

Guy: Mahdik…… 22.Evrythng on a woman’s

upper body starts wth B:

Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs.

& lower body wth P:

Petticoat, panties, pussy.

Dont panic bro Thats “BP” 4 u. 23.Mango : I am a yellow bone

when ripen, used for

making atchaar when raw, and

i look like a human


Grapes: i am looking like a human eye, and i am a wine

raw material.

Banana : please guys, let’s drop

this topic.

25.Mosquitoes of nowadays

have no respect again.They will cum to ur ears nd be

singing: “Iffa tell u say i luv u

ooo.ur body,ur blood na my

own oo baby.30Litres for ur

tummy oo,malaria nd suckness

for ur body o baby”. A smart guy like me will quickly

compose my own track

Ar u don talking?

Ar u don talking?

Mosquito are u done talking?

Sniper fall on u Otapiapia fall on u

coil fall on u cuz i go kill u eeh

BONUS I told a lady my dad is a

FARMER,he has a

plantain plantation And she

also told me her uncle is a farmer,he has a cassava

cassavation,yam yamation and

maize maization I’m still

looking at her face since

yesterday, What should I tell