1.What is witchcraft?
Witchcraft is when your father sell his only portion of land and send you abroad to study Medicine and you come back after 7 years as a DJ
2.ur boyfriend’s friends know that you are not the main chick of your boyfriend and yet
they call you “Our wife” May something as heavy as Rick Ross sit on their destinies
Are we together?
3.I heard dat Ghosts chased the
Brazilian President out of
the Presidential villa.Nigeria
Ghosts una don see wetin una mates dey do? If it is to
marry a Human being and
become their spiritual Husband
or Wife, na there una go
carry First. ..
4.That moment that you are staring at an ugly girl.she will
‘ this boy is falling in love with
not knowing that you are just
trying to figure out which
animal she resemble. 5.teacher,who betrayed Jesus
christ in the bible
IBNL JUDAS IS CARROT.
6.observed this lately Many
Nigerians will go 2 Russia
For the 2018 WorldCup Not to support Nigeria but to
For d founder of MMM.
7.When You are starving and
You Hear “Jellof Rice will
Soon Finish oo” But the Yeye Photographer will still Be
saying ” Oya Smile This Is the
Last One” ‘Say Cheese’
8.I wanted to go for jogging
this morning but
proverb 28:1 says the wicked run’s when no
man is chasing them So I
9.Ghosts in Nollywood fear cars
when crossing the road
because they don’t want to die again
If you advise me to stay in
10.FRANCA So Bcus The Doctor
Asked You To Change Ur
Drinking Habit, U Now Drink Beer With Spoon.
You will nor kill me o
M trying to hold ma faint
11.A friend of mine asked me
if I’m willing to go to
London… See question!! Who wnt to sty here.
14.My mother-in-law visited me
and my wife
but coincidentally,that day my
feeling horny and she did not want to whisper to me
since i was busy sharing stories
with her mother. My wife
tricked me by pretending she
has headache and went
straight to the bedroom. After some minutes, I followed
her leaving her mother in the
sitting room.I took some
time there,but wen I came
I had forgotten to close my zip. Mother-in-law How is she
Me: She is now feeling better, I
have given her
mother inlaw ok close the pharmcy its open.
15.A man fainted in my domain
for reason best known to
him and he’s yet to rise, reason
being that he violated law
of fainting which says in section 14 (thus, Thou shall not
faint without asking for
Fainting Space), In subsection
it also says Thou shall not faint
without asking your neighbour to shift for you
before fainting. But that’s story
for another day
16.Dating a slim girll is good
and nice but don’t be
surprise wen she get pregnant because
she will look like spoiled Nokia
battery dat have swell up.
17.Girls have three type of
..Normal panties, Period/ menses panties and
“he is coming panties” .
18.Ladies are some how
wicked ooh Girls that are
people’s boifriend, ARE THEY NOT
19.Me:hi,hw r u
OBONG: am fine….
Me:where r u?
OBONG: uniport… Me: what r u studying..
OBONG: banking and
Me: financial chemistry and my
sis (LOHITA) is studying
political carpentry..I tire for 9ja slay queens oooo’
20.GRACE : Baby are u still
coming ?. (11:00)
GRACE : Give me 20 minutes.
ME : ok, i’ll be waiting. (15:15) GRACE : just be patient. (16:00)
ME:Where are you now ?.
GRACE : Give me 30 minutes.
ME : Are you still coming ?. (18:00)
GRACE : I can’t make it, it’s late.
Some ladies are Evil
20.Not every girl who is single
looks terrible. Its just that some of them are drinking too
21.I thought being a South
African was stressful till I met
an Arab guy called; Saq Madik.
How will he mention his name during job interviews?
Madam: Your full names
Guy: Saq Mahdik
Madam: Suck what???
Guy: Mahdik…… 22.Evrythng on a woman’s
upper body starts wth B:
Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs.
& lower body wth P:
Petticoat, panties, pussy.
Dont panic bro Thats “BP” 4 u. 23.Mango : I am a yellow bone
when ripen, used for
making atchaar when raw, and
i look like a human
Grapes: i am looking like a human eye, and i am a wine
Banana : please guys, let’s drop
25.Mosquitoes of nowadays
have no respect again.They will cum to ur ears nd be
singing: “Iffa tell u say i luv u
ooo.ur body,ur blood na my
own oo baby.30Litres for ur
tummy oo,malaria nd suckness
for ur body o baby”. A smart guy like me will quickly
compose my own track
Ar u don talking?
Ar u don talking?
Mosquito are u done talking?
Sniper fall on u Otapiapia fall on u
coil fall on u cuz i go kill u eeh
BONUS I told a lady my dad is a
FARMER,he has a
plantain plantation And she
also told me her uncle is a farmer,he has a cassava
cassavation,yam yamation and
maize maization I’m still
looking at her face since
yesterday, What should I tell
KenPoly graduate who killed himself, cheated on his girlfriend
Shocking news of a graduate of Ken Saro-Wiwa Polytechnic (Kenpoly), Charles Orji who killed himself over a breakup with his girlfriend broke the internet last week.
The sad news was shared by a Twitter user who wrote,
“A Graduate From The Department Of Estate Management KenPoly Named Charles Orji Has Reportedly Committed Suicide This Morning After his girlfriend dumped him!!! Na wao!”.
Ken Saro-Wiwa polytechnic officials reported that Charles took in “sniper”, a strong insecticide, as a means to end his life.
According to reports by close persons, Charles was hurriedly buried in his hometown due to the unfortunate nature of his death.
As of last week, the reason behind the break-up wasn’t not know until Charles’s family member revealed the unknown. Charles cheated on his girlfriend and killed himself because his girlfriend refused to continue with the relationship.
The family member wrote,
“Charles I’m mad at you for what you’ve done and what you put my sister and our family through, we all loved you for who you were to her and to us. This isn’t the first time you’ve tried to kill yourself for a girl you love, but why make rejoice take the blame for your suicide this time around?
“You weren’t faithful to her but you claimed to love her, you confessed to sleeping with her close friend and even other girls, you weren’t faithful but she forgave you, even though she decided not to put up with your unfaithfulness anymore. You made such a rash decision drinking 3 bottles of sniper just because of the text she sent to you, didn’t even wait to talk to her, when you were rushed to the hospital, she had to send 20k to your people for hospital bills, money she doesn’t even have… before you died you told people that she is to be blamed for your death, now on social media people are cussing her out because of you, your family is threatening her, she’s not safe anymore.
charley, you’ve brought her pain, and no one is even giving her a listening ear… you don’t do that to someone you love… I’ve said enough, let me not say anymore.
“Rest In Peace”.
Lady who videoed Success, cries out for her own share of money
We’ve waited a very long time for this. A time when the lady who videoed Success will ask for her own share of the cake.
Recall the viral video of a school girl, Success Adegor who was chased home for not paying her school fees.
Success got several monetary donations from Nigerians and the Delta State government. Some promised to look into her school’s improverished state and fund her education to tertiary level.
Well, the director of that video,a lady identified as Stephanie Idolor has cried out for her own piece of cake. Obviously, nothing has gotten to her yet as she wrote a piece on Instagram which reads.
“It’s not like I want to share any percentage of the money they have made with them, they are my neighbours, but If Success and Her Family Have Made Over N5Million I deserve at least N1Million”.
Well, to me, I think Stephanie Idolor deserves more than one million naira. She carried out pure Journalism.
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