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Do not read this if you don’t want to laugh

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Do not read this if you don't want to laugh

*GIRLS WHEN THEY MEET THEIR FELLOW
GIRLS,THEY BE LIKE;
Ella: Babe howfa nah
Debbie: I’m cool sweedie,and u?
Ella: same dear Waow!, i love your hair.
Debbie: Thank you my love
Ella: You’re welcome honey. Am coming to
your house today,, so how is it gonna be?
Debbie: wow Sweet
Ella: I hope you prepared sumting delicious
Debbie: Yea sweedie, just come over
anytime
you like,I’ll be expecting you
*A GUY DECIDED TO TRY SAME WITH HIS
FELLOW GUY*
JoeJo: Sweetheart howfa nah
Onwe: Come,Andrew iz like ur brain is
leaking
JoeJo: Handsome, i love this your boxers oh
Onwe: Oboy wait o, which day you turn
hommo?
JoeJo: Can i come over to your house?
Onwe: Come do wetin?
JoeJo: Ok, ok, can i take you out tonight so
we could just chill
n catch sum fun..
Onwe: Cum no let devil chop ur eye oh,
So you dey find who you go tear im nyash
and
person wey go go 14years in prison Abi?
..
No let better Thunder from Okija Shrine
Strike you there …
Infact I cover my nyash with d Precious
Blood Of Jesus!! Idiot.

I still don’t understand how Nigeria
Cockroaches survive inside Microwave, Gas
cooker oven etc. You will be warming food
and you will see them walking inside like
Shedrack,Meshack & Abednego. Maybe
They Also Serve A Mighty God.
KoYeMi.
Anybody with an explanation?

Igbo man don suffer
An Igbo man had an accident with his new
BMW X6, he called a police officer & said: this
man just smashed off the door of my BMW!
My 13Million car is now condemned! The
police officer shook his head in amazement
& said, You Igbo’s are so materialistic, you
didn’t even realize that your hand was cut-
off. The igbo man looked at his amputated
hand & screamed: chinekeme!! Where is my
Rolex?

This one is too much….
I have declared that i will never smoke weed
again after i spent the whole night dancing
to the sound of the generator.

*{Mum} Jennifer You Don`t Want To Tell The
Truth , How Did You Get Pregnant?*
*{Daughter}Mum It Was An Accident*
*{Mum} You Mean You Were Crossing The
Road And A Penis From Nowhere Eventually
Hit You?? *

A lady lied to a guy dat she is a graduate. D
guy asked “do u ave NYSC certificate? She
replied “No seriously I don’t like the course.
Because all the subject is calculation ….”
pls dont laff alone send it to your
Friends and put smiles on their faces.
Son asks his father softly; ”Dad, why is this
electricity bill so low this month?”
Dad looks at the boy & says ” Fusek!!!! THIS
IS MY PAY SLIP!!

‘I’m finished’ is when your girlfriend
starts arguing with a bouncer in a Club…and
ends up saying…”My boyfriend ain’t scared of
you”….That moment my brother it’s either you
become John Cena or you become Usain Bolt.

WARRI AGAIN!!!!*A man caught a thief at
night in his kitchen at Ugborikoko area of
Warri. Just when the man was going to raise
the alarm,the thief said:”Do you remember
what I said in the Bible?I said “I will come
like a thief in the night”.”I have come again.
Blessed are you among men that you have
stayed awake as I told you.” Then the man
looked at the thief, smiled and replied, “Sir,
you have fallen into the hands of Pontius
Pilate again!”* I will nail u today!!! The thief
fainted.loooool
It’s not like i can’t afford that – i phone 7
It’s just that the colour they have is not my
taste
If they have colours like acid green,
cockroach brown, paw paw orange, bloody
red, ewedu green
Or a little touch of ojuelegba yellow
Just let me know let it not look as if i cant
buy it for myself …that is d Saying of a
Poor Asshole

*I saw a joke in another group but it was
posted by someone I don’t like so I decided
to come and laugh here*
The way girlz smoke dis days i just pray they
don’t give birth to firewood
Jst saying nitemi

MTN has done it again. You can now check
your weight on your phone. Simply dial
*118# then stand on your phone. If its
taking too long to read, jump twice.
Don’t thank me, what are friends for?

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Employment seeking girl steals N108k from her prospective employer

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Opportunity comes but once, this young girl believes as she stole N108k from her prospective employer. A female jobseeker has been captured for taking One Hundred and Eight Thousand Naira amid her prospective employee meeting in Delta State.

It was accumulated that the businessperson at the organization had ventured out to get something, leaving the suspect in the workplace. The young lady professedly utilized the chance to take N108k and fled.

Good fortune, be that as it may, ran out on her, days after the fact, while going through the road where the workplace is found. She was expeditiously caught and dragged to her home where the rest of the cash was recovered.

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Lagos tenant uses Landlord’s apartment to dupe house appliance vendors of N50 million

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Read this narration by twitter handle, @Wenogetjob, which tells of how he eavesdropped on a couples conversation of a duping man. The man rented a house for 2 month, bought expensive items worth up to N50 million on credit. Left the rented apartment with all the appliances he has not paid for, after winning the trust of the sellers.

Hey peepz, I have a gist tho I don’t know if it’s true or not..But I will say it Sha. I was just walking on the street 2receive fresh air when I saw a couple. d man was telling his wife about an incident. I kukuma slowed down an walked behind them to hear d full gist.

It was more like a scam story. A certain man walked up to a Landlord in our area and requested to rent his apartment for 2 months, with the excuse that he was traveling to Canada and just came to Lagos for the Visa Processing.. They agreed on 150K.

The man paid and took ownership of the apartment.He then went out to Vendors in town and negotiated to buy expensive items on lease. With installment payment plans.. He was said to have collected home appliance worth N50,000,000 from various vendors.

He then took them all to the apartment one by one to build trust. At least once they know he lives there, they can easily come around and pack their stuffs if he defaults, these people didn’t know what would hit them was going to be deadlier than Tsunami.

As agreed with the Landlord, the man packed out even earlier than expected… Left with all the items, of which he had not finished the payment..and the Landlord was so happy to have struck a better deal He immediately rented out the apartment to another family.

One by one, the creditors began to come in and same story was relieved to them.. Some fainted, some threatened hell fire …. To cut the long story short, Baba Ijebu was arrested alongside the new tenant.. You know Naija now… #POLICE  no wan hear wuen

They were only saved after a Landlord intervened. He is a legal practitioner and took up the case. But sincerely speaking. I wonder how some people feel at rest knowing fully well their victims would suffer.  I guess it all centers on lack of conscience. This is bad #dojon

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js Read Also: UPDATE!!! Offa Bank robbers caught by the phones they gave their girlfriends

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How a middle-aged man died after withdrawing N100,200 from the bank will shock you

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How a middle-aged man died after withdrawing N100,200 from the bank will shock you

What could have taken the life of a middle-aged man, identified only as Muyibi, who collapsed and died in a commercial cab in the Ojota area of Lagos State.

PUNCH Metro reports that Muyibi boarded the cab after withdrawing money from a United Bank for Africa branch in the Ogudu area. Then the driver had turned to to take his fee from Muyibi when he realized the man had become motionless. After reaching the terminus, a resident told Punch’s correspondent that the driver alighted from the cab to slightly push Muyibi, who was cold.

The resident, who did not want to be identified, said,

“The driver had picked some other passengers along the way, and they had all paid and dropped off at their various bus stops.
“When the victim did not respond when they got to the terminus, the driver parked the cab to rouse him, but he was cold.
The driver raised the alarm, which drew the attention of commuters and passersby to the scene. People checked him and discovered that the man was dead.”

Policemen from the Ogudu division were said to have been alerted to the incident. The driver’s vehicle was impounded just like that, while the man’s body was deposited in a morgue.

A source person at the terminus who spoke with Punch newspaper confirmed the incident, saying:

“It happened around 3pm on Friday. The man went to withdraw some money in UBA. The Ogudu Divisional Police Officer was compassionate; she pitied the cab driver, who had become jittery.
Although the man was not detained, his cab was impounded at the station pending when the deceased’s family would show up,” he added.

Lagos state Police Public Relations Officer, SP Chike Oti, said the police recovered N100,200 from the victim’s bag.

He said:

“The man was on his way to Ojota when he collapsed and died. We recovered the sum of N100,200 from his bag.
He also had a phone, which had a new SIM card. There is no contact on the phone and nobody has called him. We have a lead as to where he could be living.
His body has been deposited in a morgue for autopsy.”

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