2. Only Hausa pple will eat Rice and yam wit
beans in d morning , beans and spaghetti wit
bread in the afternoon, then bread and tea in
3. A man said to his Daughter:
Your Phone has Code….
Your Facebook has code….
Your Whatsapp has code…..
Your BBM has code ….
Your SMS has code….
Your 2go has code….
Your Instagram has code…..
Even your Xender, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, all of them has
code, but u forget to put code between ur Legs,
Now you are Pregnant…
Let Me see u inside this my house the thunder
that will fire u, won’t have Code……
4. You buy Suya 100 Naira and when you get home,
you realized that the Aboki sold Onions 70 Naira
and meat 30 Naira. # Mogbe !
5. Garri is more expensive than Noodles… Try
drinking the Garri for 20 Days straight, Falz Glasses
will be small size compared to your own.
6. If you are chatting and suddenly your
phone fall off your hand just know that one fat girl
on your list have liked one of your post.
7. You get Pirated Yoruba movie and you get home
to see Bruce Lee(Enter the Dragon Part 1)
8. Ghosts in Nollywood fear cars when crossing the
road because they don’t want to die again.
# CanYouImagine ??
9. People are just too wicked sha… How can I asked
my friend to turn on his hotspot for me and he said
he has deleted it.
Lemme faint on a mat joor!
10. … Dating a broke guy isn’t bad until you tell him
that you are very hungry and he replies, “your own
is even better, me, I want to faint”
11. I was struggling with my biology practical when
one slay queen asked, “please is earthworm a wild
Chai!!! Our lecturer has fainted, security officer has
fainted too, we are now fainting according to our
matric number, ah just dey wait for my turn buh I
don’t want to faint on floor, buh d security man
fainted on ma own table nah.
12. # EYES_ROLLING
Sending nude pics on Whatsapp to ur guy is old
fashion… try something new… just go naked and
walk from ur house to his house my sister.
13. I’m not saying I hate my ex, am just saying that
if I find her in hospital on Life Support Machine, I
would unplug the machine and charge my phone.
14. How do Chinese people choose their kid’s
Well, it’s easy… They just throw their pots and pans
down the stairs, and listen for the sounds “Dong –
Ping – Wang – Feng – Chung”
15. A Rich man is never wrong, even when he
farts ppl will be like “that’s money speaking”
16. I want to create a new Facebook account and the
name will be ‘NOBODY’ so when I see stupid crap
people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody
17. That Awkward moment……… When u are laughing
so hard with ur crush…. Den a HEAVY CATARRH
jump out of ur nose…
# FADALURD! TAKE MY SOUL .
18. Android phones can be so annoying. How do I
explain it? I just received a notification now that my
bible app needs update… Pls wat does the bible
need update for? Or has Adam eaten another apple?
19. IPhone 7s earpiece is N67,000. My question is
“Will I be able to hear angel Michael testing the
trumpet two days before rapture??”.
20. Trouble Making is when you are in a canoe in
the middle of a river, and you now start singing
“Mami water power, powerless power…”
21. Queen Elizabeth, Trump & Buhari went to Hell
fire for a visit. Queen Elizabeth asked the devil 2
allow her make some calls 2 England 2 inquire
about the Country’s welfare, so she spent five
minutes. Satan billed her 5million dollars. Trump
also made a call to U.S.A and spent 8 minutes, the
bill was 8million dollars. Then Buhari called Nigeria
and spent 2 hours, how much is my bill? he asked
Satan, “One dollar” Satan replied. Surprised!! Buhari
said but I stayed longer than them all, Satan smiled
and said “calling hell from hell is not expensive, it is
a local call”
22. When you take a girl to ATM she will start
apologizing for things she hasn’t Done.
“Honey am sorry for shouting at you next week”
23. The way some people are Black in KANO
ehhh, if u shoot them in the night, the Bullet will
come back and ask you for Torchlight.
Which one did it for you palz??
# Lmao **
Employment seeking girl steals N108k from her prospective employer
Opportunity comes but once, this young girl believes as she stole N108k from her prospective employer. A female jobseeker has been captured for taking One Hundred and Eight Thousand Naira amid her prospective employee meeting in Delta State.
It was accumulated that the businessperson at the organization had ventured out to get something, leaving the suspect in the workplace. The young lady professedly utilized the chance to take N108k and fled.
Good fortune, be that as it may, ran out on her, days after the fact, while going through the road where the workplace is found. She was expeditiously caught and dragged to her home where the rest of the cash was recovered.
Lagos tenant uses Landlord’s apartment to dupe house appliance vendors of N50 million
Hey peepz, I have a gist tho I don’t know if it’s true or not..But I will say it Sha. I was just walking on the street 2receive fresh air when I saw a couple. d man was telling his wife about an incident. I kukuma slowed down an walked behind them to hear d full gist.
It was more like a scam story. A certain man walked up to a Landlord in our area and requested to rent his apartment for 2 months, with the excuse that he was traveling to Canada and just came to Lagos for the Visa Processing.. They agreed on 150K.
The man paid and took ownership of the apartment.He then went out to Vendors in town and negotiated to buy expensive items on lease. With installment payment plans.. He was said to have collected home appliance worth N50,000,000 from various vendors.
He then took them all to the apartment one by one to build trust. At least once they know he lives there, they can easily come around and pack their stuffs if he defaults, these people didn’t know what would hit them was going to be deadlier than Tsunami.
As agreed with the Landlord, the man packed out even earlier than expected… Left with all the items, of which he had not finished the payment..and the Landlord was so happy to have struck a better deal He immediately rented out the apartment to another family.
One by one, the creditors began to come in and same story was relieved to them.. Some fainted, some threatened hell fire …. To cut the long story short, Baba Ijebu was arrested alongside the new tenant.. You know Naija now… #POLICE no wan hear wuen
They were only saved after a Landlord intervened. He is a legal practitioner and took up the case. But sincerely speaking. I wonder how some people feel at rest knowing fully well their victims would suffer. I guess it all centers on lack of conscience. This is bad #dojon
It was more like a scam story. 🙆 A certain man walked up to a Landlord in our area and requested to rent his apartment for 2 months, with the excuse that he was traveling to Canada 🍁 and just came to Lagos for the Visa Processing.. They agreed on 150K.
— Diary of a Jobless Nigerian Youth (@wenogetjob) May 15, 2018
How a middle-aged man died after withdrawing N100,200 from the bank will shock you
What could have taken the life of a middle-aged man, identified only as Muyibi, who collapsed and died in a commercial cab in the Ojota area of Lagos State.
PUNCH Metro reports that Muyibi boarded the cab after withdrawing money from a United Bank for Africa branch in the Ogudu area. Then the driver had turned to to take his fee from Muyibi when he realized the man had become motionless. After reaching the terminus, a resident told Punch’s correspondent that the driver alighted from the cab to slightly push Muyibi, who was cold.
The resident, who did not want to be identified, said,
“The driver had picked some other passengers along the way, and they had all paid and dropped off at their various bus stops.
“When the victim did not respond when they got to the terminus, the driver parked the cab to rouse him, but he was cold.
The driver raised the alarm, which drew the attention of commuters and passersby to the scene. People checked him and discovered that the man was dead.”
Policemen from the Ogudu division were said to have been alerted to the incident. The driver’s vehicle was impounded just like that, while the man’s body was deposited in a morgue.
A source person at the terminus who spoke with Punch newspaper confirmed the incident, saying:
“It happened around 3pm on Friday. The man went to withdraw some money in UBA. The Ogudu Divisional Police Officer was compassionate; she pitied the cab driver, who had become jittery.
Although the man was not detained, his cab was impounded at the station pending when the deceased’s family would show up,” he added.
Lagos state Police Public Relations Officer, SP Chike Oti, said the police recovered N100,200 from the victim’s bag.
“The man was on his way to Ojota when he collapsed and died. We recovered the sum of N100,200 from his bag.
He also had a phone, which had a new SIM card. There is no contact on the phone and nobody has called him. We have a lead as to where he could be living.
His body has been deposited in a morgue for autopsy.”
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