2. Only Hausa pple will eat Rice and yam wit
beans in d morning , beans and spaghetti wit
bread in the afternoon, then bread and tea in
3. A man said to his Daughter:
Your Phone has Code….
Your Facebook has code….
Your Whatsapp has code…..
Your BBM has code ….
Your SMS has code….
Your 2go has code….
Your Instagram has code…..
Even your Xender, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, all of them has
code, but u forget to put code between ur Legs,
Now you are Pregnant…
Let Me see u inside this my house the thunder
that will fire u, won’t have Code……
4. You buy Suya 100 Naira and when you get home,
you realized that the Aboki sold Onions 70 Naira
and meat 30 Naira. # Mogbe !
5. Garri is more expensive than Noodles… Try
drinking the Garri for 20 Days straight, Falz Glasses
will be small size compared to your own.
6. If you are chatting and suddenly your
phone fall off your hand just know that one fat girl
on your list have liked one of your post.
7. You get Pirated Yoruba movie and you get home
to see Bruce Lee(Enter the Dragon Part 1)
8. Ghosts in Nollywood fear cars when crossing the
road because they don’t want to die again.
# CanYouImagine ??
9. People are just too wicked sha… How can I asked
my friend to turn on his hotspot for me and he said
he has deleted it.
Lemme faint on a mat joor!
10. … Dating a broke guy isn’t bad until you tell him
that you are very hungry and he replies, “your own
is even better, me, I want to faint”
11. I was struggling with my biology practical when
one slay queen asked, “please is earthworm a wild
Chai!!! Our lecturer has fainted, security officer has
fainted too, we are now fainting according to our
matric number, ah just dey wait for my turn buh I
don’t want to faint on floor, buh d security man
fainted on ma own table nah.
12. # EYES_ROLLING
Sending nude pics on Whatsapp to ur guy is old
fashion… try something new… just go naked and
walk from ur house to his house my sister.
13. I’m not saying I hate my ex, am just saying that
if I find her in hospital on Life Support Machine, I
would unplug the machine and charge my phone.
14. How do Chinese people choose their kid’s
Well, it’s easy… They just throw their pots and pans
down the stairs, and listen for the sounds “Dong –
Ping – Wang – Feng – Chung”
15. A Rich man is never wrong, even when he
farts ppl will be like “that’s money speaking”
16. I want to create a new Facebook account and the
name will be ‘NOBODY’ so when I see stupid crap
people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody
17. That Awkward moment……… When u are laughing
so hard with ur crush…. Den a HEAVY CATARRH
jump out of ur nose…
# FADALURD! TAKE MY SOUL .
18. Android phones can be so annoying. How do I
explain it? I just received a notification now that my
bible app needs update… Pls wat does the bible
need update for? Or has Adam eaten another apple?
19. IPhone 7s earpiece is N67,000. My question is
“Will I be able to hear angel Michael testing the
trumpet two days before rapture??”.
20. Trouble Making is when you are in a canoe in
the middle of a river, and you now start singing
“Mami water power, powerless power…”
21. Queen Elizabeth, Trump & Buhari went to Hell
fire for a visit. Queen Elizabeth asked the devil 2
allow her make some calls 2 England 2 inquire
about the Country’s welfare, so she spent five
minutes. Satan billed her 5million dollars. Trump
also made a call to U.S.A and spent 8 minutes, the
bill was 8million dollars. Then Buhari called Nigeria
and spent 2 hours, how much is my bill? he asked
Satan, “One dollar” Satan replied. Surprised!! Buhari
said but I stayed longer than them all, Satan smiled
and said “calling hell from hell is not expensive, it is
a local call”
22. When you take a girl to ATM she will start
apologizing for things she hasn’t Done.
“Honey am sorry for shouting at you next week”
23. The way some people are Black in KANO
ehhh, if u shoot them in the night, the Bullet will
come back and ask you for Torchlight.
Which one did it for you palz??
# Lmao **
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