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11 Jokes that can brighten your face

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11 Jokes that can brighten your face

1.That’s how u will be Standing
Close to a
TRANSFORMER and ur village
People will start
whispering “one corner,one
corner
________________
2. Nothing is more painful than
using the
whole Saturday to wash your
boyfriend’s clothes,
Only for him to break up with
you on Sunday
morning.
Kill him The police will
understand
________________
3.
I beg o, I want an answer to this
question
*SIMILAR* and *SAME* are they
the *SAME* or
*SIMILAR ?*
_____________
4.
British English: *Knickers*.
American English: *Shorts*.
Nigerian English: *Short Knicker*.
Can you now see why we have
problems in this
country?
We are copying everybody at the
same time.
_________
5.I never knew recession was so
serious in
Nigeria…Until I saw two police
men sharing one
Gun
____________
6.*I thought I have seen
everything in life
until I saw a 16-yr old boy went
to a bar
and*
*drank 4 bottles of Guinness.He
got up to
leave and the barman asked him
to pay.*
*He brought out his birth
certificate and
replied;
*Not for sale to persons below
18yrs
____________
7.
Anytime you see a girl shaking
her buttocks while
walking, just Know she is going
to her guys place.
How did I know?? because it is
written in syrup
bottles
“shake well before use”
__________
8.Me and One girl were insulting
each other(i dont
even remember d reason y).As i
dey insult her d girl
no wan back down she gave me
d insult of my
life.She Said “You Know What
Boys are monkeys
with their tail in front ” My Guys
na serious
headache follow me home that
day
___________
9.A South African tweeted
“MY PRESIDENT IS THE WORST
PRESIDENT EVER!
WHY SHOULD THERE BE
ELECTRICITY FOR 23
HOURS OUT OF 24 HOURS? HOW
CAN CITIZENS BE
IN DARKNESS FOR ONE WHOLE
HOUR? I’M SO
UPSET RIGHT NOW!”
And then a Nigerian man quoted
and retweeted.
“Come to my country, you won’t
even have battery
to type this nonsense”
__________
Grandfather: When I was your
age, I
used to go to the supermarket
with N1=
and bring home soap, rice, milk,
bread,
wash powder etc.*
*Grandson : nowadays it is
difficult….There are CCTV cameras everywhere
________
11.Dating so Many Girls is just a
way of Confusing
the Enemy from Attacking your
main Girl……*
*But ladies will never Understand
This Strategy”*
__________

Read Also: Nigeria vs Argentina, 4 – 2 (watch this smart football play by super eagles)

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Woman arrested for scamming church in Ogun state of N100m

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A 39-year old woman, Iwuagwu Onyinyechi, has been apprehended by the Ogun police command after she defrauded a Christian church the sum of N100m, under the disguise of assisting the church to raise fund for her charity programme. Onyinyechi was able to defraud the church with forged documents three good times.

The police command in a statement read by its spokesman on Sunday Abimbola Oyeyemi, said Onyinyechi’s arrest followed a complain filed by a lawyer of the church, Godswill Ojakovo, to the Ogun State Commissioner of Police, in which he said that his client, the church, was defrauded by Onyinyechi through an act of forgery.

According to the spokesman, Oyeyemi, the suspect claimed to have obtained a Local Purchase Order (LPO) from a property company and pleaded to the church to help fund the LPO, after which a sum of N33.118m was successfully transferred into to her bank account.

Woman arrested for scamming church in Ogun state of N100m

While the church was awaiting the repayment of the loan, Onyinyechi came with another two LPOs she claimed she got from a Catholic Hospital, Iju and a private school in Ikorodu, Lagos State. Another sum of N77m was given to her, after convincing the church with relevant documents and proofs to back her claims.

But as soon as Onyinyechi got the last payment in September 2018, she went loose and this prompted the church to make discreet inquiries about the LPOs she submitted and found out that they were forged.

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Tanzania woman attacked by her husband for refusing to give him anal sex

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A married woman from Kijichi Mkoa, Western Zanzibar in Tanzania is left with deep cuts on her face after a fight with her husband whom she refused to give anal sex.

The victim says her husband been making moves to get his demands but she has been refusing only because Islam does not support anal sex. The victim says her partner says she is being “naive” on matters with sex.

Tanzania woman attacked by her husband for refusing to give him anal sex

“He began demanding anal sex from me three months after our wedding. I told him: ‘no’; straight away! He, however, kept on urging me to give in to his demands. Even when I was seven months pregnant, he still wanted to have anal sex with me. I stood my ground, nonetheless,”-  the victim told Tanzania’s Mwananchi Newspaper .

The lady revealed that her husband was rejected by two women because he asked them of the same act. The accused, denied his wife’s claims, saying the fight between them broke out after his in-laws (wife relatives) demanded a lot of money as dowry from him.

According to him, his wife’s family mocks him for being “broke”.

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